Jason Grace, The Magestic Golden Retriever
by Homotato
Summary: Jason does something unromantic and pisses off Aphrodite. What happens? Aphrodite decides that he will make a better pet than a boyfriend for Piper. "He's cute AND he doesn't talk! What a bonus!"
1. Chapter 1

It was a regular day on the Argo II.

Annabeth was trying to kill Leo because he put a spider in her room, Percy was in the ocean doing gods-knows-what, Hazel was in her room, trying not to puke, Frank was trying to figure out how to get his fingers out of the not-so-Chinese finger trap and Jason and Piper were on the deck.

"I really think you should talk with Reyna." He tells her "Reyna's really intelligent, but you might be able to convince her."

Piper frowns and shrugs.

 ** _Meanwhile, in Mount Olympus:_**

 ** _Aphrodite is watching them. She can sense her daughters discomfort and jealousy. She did not like it. It's time to make this relationship interesting!_**

"I'll think about it." Piper tells Jason. She sighs. Boys are so clueless.

All of the sudden, something shoots down from the sky. It hits Jason and he disappears in a pink puff of smoke.

Piper stares at the spot where he was just standing, bewildered. "Jason?" she asks. In Jason's place is a golden retriever puppy with Jason's blue eyes.

 ** _Meanwhile, in Mount Olympus:_**

 ** _Aphrodite decided to turn Jason into a puppy. Cute_** ** _and_** ** _he doesn't talk! What a bonus! Her daughter would like him much more now. If he was going to get knocked out in combat, he had no use in war, so why not a puppy?_**

"Holy mother of gods!" she bent down "Now, who the Tartarus did this?" She points at Jason, the golden retriever and glares at the sky, accusingly.

"I can take credit for that!" I female voice says, behind her.

"Mom." Piper smacks her forehead.

"Yes, it's me! You like what I did?" Aphrodite says excitedly.

"I don't know." Piper says, sarcastically, "Am I supposed to?"

"Well, I would be surprised if you didn't." says Aphrodite, actually baffled.

Jason stares at her and then her mom, horrified.

"I have to admit, he's cute." Piper says "But this is going to scar him for life."

"That's the point." Aphrodite says.

"Can you turn him back now, mom?" Piper asks, annoyed.

"I wish I could, but I have to run." Aphrodite says, taking out a sparkly pocket watch and holding it at eye level. "I have a tea to attend to in Greece."

"But-"

"Nice seeing you again, darling!" She disappears in a puff of pink smoke.

Jason howls and stomps his paws which probably means "Help me!"

Piper just stands on the deck, bewildered.

"We need to tell everybody and get help!"

Jason shakes his head wildly, his ears flopping. Piper laughs so hard she falls to her knees. She wipes a tear from her eye. "I'm sorry, you just looked so funny!"

Jason the puppy does not look amused.

xxxx

 **I had to stop here. You see, I have this very big project for Science about earthquakes that I have to redo.**

 **I made a (fake) food product** **demonstrating my understanding of earthquakes** **and she gave me a bad grade because when somebody asked me where I could buy it, I said "The Black Market."**

 **Or at least that's what I'm guessing. She hates me anyway.**

 **Bye guys! Check out my other stories if you like** **Hunger Games, Divergent or Mortal instruments!**


	2. Chapter 2

Jason followed me inside the ship and into my room.

I sit on my bed and he jumps up next to me, giving me a questioning look with his big puppy-dog eyes.

I look at the ground. "I don't know what to do." I put my head in my hands "Don't look at me like that!"

He whines and lies down with his head on his paws.

I come up with the easiest solution; tell Annabeth. She is a daughter of the goddess of wisdom, after all.

"I'm telling Annabeth." I say "She's my closest friend."

He growls.

"Oh _shut up._ " I say, annoyed.

I run out and shut the door behind me.

I run down the narrow hallway, "Annabeth!" I yell.

I walk back out on to the deck. Annabeth runs by me with full battle armor and Riptide.

"Annabeth!" I yell

"Busy at the moment! Is it important?!" She yells back

"Yes!"

"Okay," she stops and runs back over to me "what's the problem?"

"Jason." I say and I take a breath to explain everything. "My mom-"

"Great." She mutters.

"-turned him into a puppy!"

She stares at me with a perfect poker face. "A puppy?" she raises an eyebrow.

"Yes, a puppy. Do you know of any solution?"

"Not at the moment. But I will think of one." She says.

She takes off her war helmet and throws it into the water.

"Why'd you-"

"Just wait." She interrupts

A giant wave of water rushes on to the deck and soaks my shoes.

"Does he have to do that _every_ time?" I ask Annabeth, annoyed.

She shrugs.

Percy jumps out of the water and on to the deck, completely dry, ready to attack. He reaches into his pocket, but them realizes that he gave Annabeth Riptide so she could kill Leo.

"We aren't being attacked Seaweed Brain." Annabeth says with a small smirk.

What does she see in him? He reminds me of the 'bad boy' from every movie. He doesn't respect authority—including the gods. Someday something is going to happen to him and she's going to be completely shocked.

Percy stands up straight and coughs awkwardly. "So what's the problem then?"

"I need you to contact Grover." Annabeth says.

"Am I allowed to ask why?" Percy says, with raised eyebrows. "Or…."

Annabeth turns to me and gives me a look saying "Can I tell him?"

I nod.

"Jason has been turned into a dog. Don't tell anybody. We need Grover to translate." Says Annabeth

Percy stares at her, as if processing the information. He bursts out laughing.

Annabeth looks at me and rolls her eyes.

"Sorry," Percy says, still laughing, "did I hear correctly?"

Annabeth sighs, but I can tell she's trying not to laugh too. "Percy, knock it off."

Percy holds his breath to stop laughing and sends a look to Annabeth. She then starts laughing.

"Come on people, this is serious!" I say, annoyed.

They both stand up straight and they stop laughing faster than you can say "charm speak".

Percy closes his eyes for a while and everything—including the ocean—goes silent.

He opens his eyes, "Okay, he'll be here soon." Percy says.

"Thanks Seaweed brain!" Annabeth says.

She walks over to him and gives him a kiss on the cheek.

He jumps back into the water, with a small splash.

"Can I see him?" Annabeth asks.

"I guess so." Jason is not going to like this.

xxxx

I open the door to my room and walk inside, Annabeth at my heels.

"Jason?" I ask

No response.

There is a giant hole in the ceiling of my room and a giant hole in the wall next to me, going to Leo's room.

"Godsdamnit" **(Yes, I made that a word.)**

Xxxx

 **This may not be the best plotline, but it's an experiment.**

 **:P**


	3. Chapter 3

**I feel bad for not updating this for a long time. A lot of stuff has been going on in my life. I know you don't care. Thank you for reading this. As I said, this is an experiment. What are you supposed to expect, anyway? It's a parody. :)  
**

* * *

Now _why the Hades_ would Jason blow a hole in my wall?

Annabeth looks over my shoulder, "Whoa."

I remain speechless as Annabeth passes me and gets on her hands and knees, climbing through the hole in the wall.

"Annabeth," I say "Are you sure you should to that? That's Leo's room."

"I don't think he'll mind." She replies, over her shoulder.

 _Whatever_ I think. I need to find Jason. Maybe it was an accident.

I get on my hands and knees and crawl through. I feel really uncomfortable being in Leo's room, but at least Annabeth is in here too.

I spot Annabeth on the other side of Leo's bed, crouching down so I can only see her head. She looks amused.

Jason-the-puppy is laying on a rug, asleep. I still don't know why he would blast a hole in my wall to sleep.

I slip on a wrench and come tumbling to the ground, making a lot of noise. Jason's head snaps up and he has a playful look in his eyes that I have never seen on him before.

He jumps on Annabeth unexpectedly and startles her, making her jump backwards and lose balance. She tumbles to the ground. Jason licks her hand and she pulls it back, against her stomach. "Um.. Piper, are you sure this is Jason?"

"Yes!" I exclaim, "Look at the eyes! Have you ever seen a golden retriever with blue eyes?" Jason grubs against her legs.

"Actually, yes I have." She says matter-of-factly.

"You're missing the point." I say, exasperated.

"I know." She says, with a smile, "I just wanted to mess with you."

Annabeth gets on to her feet and leans against the wall. "If it's Jason, how come he just did all that? That strikes me as very not-Jason behavior." She looks at me with raised eyebrows.

"It is Jason! I'm sure!" I exclaim. Jason barks at something and races through the charred hole in the wall. I hear loud talking in the hallway and rush out Leo's door.

A satyr-Grover-stands in the hallway with Percy and Frank (with his fingers still in the finger trap).

"Is Jason out here?" I ask. They all shake their heads.

"He's probably in my room." I say, relieved he hasn't ran off "Come on. Lets talk to him."

I walk past them and enter my room.

There I find Jason. He stares at me and proceeds to lift one of his hind legs and take a piss on my carpet.

* * *

 **Ahhh. I am so immature.**

 **Again, it's a parody, so it can be as immature as I want it.**

 **I'm sorry if this seems a little short.**

 **Review, Follow, Fave, please.**

 **Thank you for reading my story, guys!**


	4. Chapter 4

**I've been reading a lot of Percy Jackson lately after getting the entire PJO series for Christmas, so I decided to update this story!**

 **I have sooooo many ideas for different stories, but I have 3 in-progress and that is enough.  **

**It just really sucks doesn't it? :/**

 **Anyway, I hope this chapter makes you laugh! :)**

* * *

Piper  


I stand there in shock, trying to look away as Jason relieves himself on my carpet. I'm beginning to have doubts that this is Jason.

I'm standing in the doorway, hopefully blocking everyone's view of the small puppy. I don't turn around to face them why I ask, "Hey, um, can you guys give me a second?" still flabbergasted.

"Okay, but be quick. I can't stay long." A feminine voice-presumably-Thalia's-answers. I slide my door closed and sigh, sliding to the floor. I can hear their muffled voices outside in the hallway, where they aren't stuck with a Golden Retriever for a boyfriend.

I close my eyes and try to ignore the giant stain on my carpet. "Jason!" I hiss, staring at the puppy and trying to get a sign that _Jason_ is still in there. I only get a clueless look. Something is definitely not right.

"Ugh! Mom!" I mutter, angrily, " _Why_ do you have to do this to me?!"

"I'm not doing it to punish _you_ , darling." Aphrodite's voice made me snap my head up quickly. She was sitting on the edge of my bed, Jason the puppy in her arms.

"Mom. Please turn him back." I pleaded, using as much charmspeak as I could.

Aphrodite seemed to be considering it, but she tilted her head a little like she was examining me and said "I'm sorry, sweetie, but Jason needs a bit more time."

"Mom. Is that really Jason?" I asked.

"Of course. I just altered his thought process a little to make a more convincing puppy." She told me, "But of course he's still there."

I scowl, a bitter taste in my mouth.

"I should be off now. I have a date with Ares." Aphrodite snaps her fingers and the wall repairs itself. The stain dissapears from the carpet and the room basically reorganizes itself. A small dog cage appears in the corner of the room, with Jason locked inside. "Bye-bye sweetie." With that, she fades away.

"Gods." I sigh and get up to open the door.

"We can come in now?" Thalia asks.

"Sure." I reply.

They all step into my room and Thalia squints like she's being blinded. "I thought Jason said you didn't like Aphrodite."

"I don't." I say, confused.

"Your room is pink..." She raises her eyebrows

I look up and notice that my wall is painted a light shade of pink and my bed sheets are neon pink. "Damn it, mom."

Thalia turns to Grover "I think she means _dam_ it."

They burst out laughing and I just stare at them, even more confused.

Thalia gets over her laughing fit, "Inside joke."

Her eyes become serious and cold again as she notices the cage with the small puppy in it. "Why is Jason in a cage?"

"Long story." I say.

"Well, whatever." She says "Grover do your, um, translation thingy."

Grover sits next to the cage, "Jason? You in there?"

Jason barks at Grover and Grover gets this confused look on his face.

"Well," Thalia says, impatiently, "what did he say?"

Grover just stares at Jason.

"Grover? Earth to Grover."

"Uh... Um..." He looks like he just wants to leave "He... Um... He said that, um... Uh..."

"Just _say it,_ Grover." Thalia rolls her eyes.

He gets up and whispers in her ear. Her eyes widen and she bursts out in laughter, hugging her stomach.

"What did he say?" I ask, confused about why she's laughing.

"Piper, trust me, it would be better if you didn't know." Thalia says.

"Um... Okay." I figured it's best not to argue with Thalia.

All of the sudden a rainbow shimmers in front of Thalia and an Iris message appears.

"Lady Artemis, have I stayed too long?" Thalia looks worried.

"No Thalia," Artemis says "I just wanted to tell you that you can stay an extra day. I know your brother means a lot to you."

"Thank you, Lady Artemis." Thalia says "I will be back with the hunters as fast as I can."

The Iris message shimmers and disappears like it was never there.

"Well," Thalia says "Do you guys have an extra room?"

"Um..." I think hard "We kind of do. Nico usually stays in there but he's not here right now. I guess you can sleep there."

"Thanks Piper." She says "Where is the room?"

"It should be at the end of the hall." I answer.

"Thanks!" She walks out of my room and Grover walks out after her.

I close my door behind them.

I collapse on my new neon pink bed. "Well that wasn't much help..."

* * *

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